Your Dating App Profile Sucks - Here is How to Fix It

Pssst… Your Tinder profile sucks! Yup, I said it! Furthermore, so does your Hinge, your Bumble, your OKCupid, and your Grindr profile. But don’t worry. I wouldn’t drop a bomb like that without giving you some tips on how to fix it! So, keep reading for ways to make your profile “right swipe worthy.”

But before we start, I’d just like to preface this post by saying that if all you’re looking for is a quickie in the bathroom stall of a Red Sox game, then keep on keeping on! You’re going great. Buuuuut, if you happen to be one of those oddballs on Tinder (or any dating app, for that matter) who believes in a crazy thing called falling in love, then these tips are for you. Let’s get started!

Phase One = Your Pictures

Let’s face it, as deep as we all like to think we are, we can’t deny that attraction matters. I’m not saying that you have to be a supermodel to snag a partner, but everyone appreciates a little effort.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, read below to make sure yours can’t be dumbed down onto a sticky note.

Tip #1: Be careful with your group pics.

Group pictures can be a great way to show that you’re social and likable! But, if the first picture (or first several pictures) in your profile is an un-labeled group picture, then you’re setting yourself up to be a participant in a competition that you didn’t know you signed up for – and you may not be the winner. Whenever someone sees an un-labeled group picture, they automatically zone in on who they find most attractive, and internally cross their fingers for that person to be you.

So, if you make the mistake of not clearly labeling which person you are in the photo you may be setting them up for disappointment. Not to mention that if you have too many un-labeled group pictures, your prospects may get tired of playing the guessing game and swipe left out of sheer frustration.

Solution: Lead with solo pics, and label your group pictures to avoid confusion.

Tip #2: Avoid mask pics.

Seriously… Just don’t. I mean, unless you have some super cool or unique mask that gives insight into your interests or personality *cough cough*my Cowboy Bebop mask*cough cough* then you’re defeating the purpose of having a picture in the first place. Show off that lovely face of yours.

Solution: You’re not a bank robber – Lose the mask pics.

Tip #3: Variety is the spice of life.

Okay, I’m glad you took my advice and ditched the mask, but if your profile is nothing BUT close up after close up of your face then it doesn’t help to paint a well-rounded picture of who you are. Be sure to include full body pictures, pictures of you engaging in your hobbies, and action pictures (like that shot of you dancing, skating, working out, etc). You want to show your potential matches that you’re more than just a pretty face.

Solution: Add variety to your pictures to give your matches a better idea of who you are.

Tip #4: Don’t be sketchy.

Although this should go without saying, it still seems to be a weirdly common occurrence. *Climbs atop my soap box* You should actually be in your photos! Faceless pics, or pics that solely focus on your body (…or naughty bits) just scream “Red Flag!” Potential matches will think you’re either hiding something or hiding from someone (like maybe a significant other) or that you’re only looking for a quick hookup. Either way, these types of pictures don’t make you out to be an upstanding and well-intentioned person.

Solution: If you have nothing to hide, then don’t.

Conclusion: Your pictures are the first thing that your potential matches notice, and since online dating apps cater to users who have the attention span of a fish, you have to reel them in fast! Use your pictures to entice your potential matches into wanting to know more about you.

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Phase Two = Your Bio

Alright, now that you’ve gotten their attention, you want to intrigue your potential matches into diving deeper. Writing an appealing bio is a surefire way to earn that right swipe.

Tip #1: Actually write a bio.

This is another one that should go without saying, yet it still disappoints me to see how often this occurs. Nieces and nephews, that big blank space under your pictures is for your bio – use it! Many studies, along with my own investigative research, show that one of the most common reasons for users to swipe left is a lack of a bio.

Having a bare bio implies that you couldn’t be bothered to put forth the effort into filling it out. This may make your potential matches wonder if filling out a simple bio isn’t the only thing that you will neglect. Take a few minutes to write something…ANYTHING.

Solution: Don't skimp out on your bio. Less isn't always more!

Tip #2: Let your personality shine through.

From the time you were born up until this very moment you have spent your entire life navigating the world through trial and error. You’ve explored the space around you as well as the depths of your own inner workings. You’ve compiled a collection of experiences, life lessons, successes, failures, heartbreaks and triumphs, and after all of that growth and evolution, you have decided to sum up the depths of your soul into a cliché phrase like “Tacos are Life!” *Face Palm*

Not only are you 1 of 1.5 gazillion people regurgitating the same buzzwords, it doesn’t actually say anything about how unique you are as a person. You are a complex, creative, and captivating creature, whose existence can’t simply be boiled down to “Margs and Brunch!” Mention interests and traits that go beyond the superficial. What truly makes you you? What would a potential match have to look forward to if you got together?

For example, on my dating app, I say that “I’m an athletic nerd who’s as interested in hiking and paintball, as I am in anime and comic books. I want to scream sing 2000’s punk rock songs while on our way to grab dinner at a ramen shop, before we go to a second-hand book store or to see a comedy show.”

Solution: Dig deeper than the surface level and write about the things that make you stand out in a crowd.

Tip #3: Avoid negativity

A bio full of “don’t do this” and “don’t be that” and “don’t bother messaging if __” and “Don’t waste my time if __” is off-putting. I know that you think you’re just weeding out the “undesirables,” but what you’re really doing is presenting yourself as a bitter and uncompromising jerk.

Bios like this spend so much time telling potential matches what hoops they need to jump through for the privilege of dating you that they don’t ever mention why dating you would be a privilege in the first place. I know it takes a little more time and effort to rule out people you’re not interested in through traditional conversation and exploration, but it’s better to take the time (and possibly even discover someone great that you may have overlooked) and avoid sending everyone running in the opposite direction. People gravitate towards positivity.

Solution: Bios aren’t meant to rule people out, they’re meant to pull people in. Be nice.

Tip #4: Ditch the fluff

Okay, I know in Tip #1 I said to write “anything,” but maaaybe I should have been more specific. You should write something substantial. Listing your name, age, and the city you live in can feel like redundant filler information since all of those points are already listed in your profile. Dropping a string of emojis isn’t a bio, it’s a condensed picture book. And simply listing out all of your social media tags isn’t informative, it’s self-promoting.

You want to give your potential matches something to work with to start a conversation with you. Otherwise, you’re putting yourself in danger of receiving the dreaded and uninspired “Hey” message. *shudders*

Solution: Add interesting and open ended talking points to get the conversation flowing.

Conclusion: A well-crafted bio is your opportunity to show users why matching with you is like hitting the jackpot! It’s a space to brag about yourself, make them laugh, and set yourself apart from all of the other copy and paste profiles out there. Be original. Be yourself. And have fun with it.

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Phase Three = Your Messages

OMG! You got a match! But it really isn’t that surprising considering you followed all of the steps above to create an awesome profile. Soon, you and that Tinder hottie will be going out for coffee, taking your dogs for long hikes in the mountains, and curling up on the couch to watch season 48 of the British Baking show together. That is, as long as you don’t f*ck it up! Keep reading for ways NOT to scare them away with your messages.

Tip #1: Seriously, Don’t Be Sketchy!

This may sound familiar, but it definitely bears repeating. Don’t be sketchy! There’s nothing worse than matching with someone that you find attractive, intriguing, and has similar interests, only for them to fire off a creepy message right out of the gate. It’s best to keep your sexually explicit/vulgar/lewd messages to yourself – at least, in the beginning.

Read the room and form the conversation around similar interests or cool talking points that you’ve picked up from their bio. Save the weird comments for after you’ve built up a rapport and you have a better idea of their tolerance and sense of humor. Coming in too hot may get you un-matched.

Solution: Be respectful and keep the inappropriate comments to yourself.

Tip #2: Don’t Overdo It With The Compliments

Sincere compliments go a long way in showing your interest, but emphatic gushing can be a turn off. Yes, you may think she seems like an idyllic angel spun from gold and silver. Sure, you may think he looks like a statuesque Greek God chiseled from marble. But, you may want to tone it down just a bit.

Everyone likes to feel appealing, but if you write paragraph after paragraph of undying admiration for a person you barely just met it can come off as disingenuous or just down right creepy. You don’t want your match thinking you’re the kind of person who will sniff their shoes when they leave the room (true story).

Solution: While compliments are encouraged, don’t overdo it and slip into creepy territory.

Tip #3: Avoid Getting Too Personal Too Soon

Open and honest communication is paramount when starting and maintaining a healthy relationship. But, while it’s best not to hide important information, you should also avoid sharing too much too soon. Divulging intimate details about yourself, your life, your controversial political opinions, or your past relationships too quickly can lead your match to think you aren’t fully healed from previous experiences, or scare them away before they’ve had a chance to build up a fun dynamic with you. Keep the first several messages light, fun, and flirty, and let the conversation naturally dive into the more taboo topics when it’s appropriate.

Solution: Even an “open book” should save the more intense topics for later chapters.

Tip #4: Timeliness Is Important

Consider this a 2-prong tip. A tip within a tip. Tipception, if you will. No matter which side of this tip you fall on, the underlying idea is that: timing is important. This suggestion (…because I’ve said “tip” too many times already) is for those online daters who are either way too impatient, or way too laid-back when it comes to responding to messages.

You don’t want to be the person who fires off 9 messages within the span of 3 minutes before your match has even had time to respond to your first message. This can make you look needy, clingy, and unforgiving. There are plenty of valid reasons why someone may take longer to respond than you would like, and you should always practice patience and give that person the benefit of the doubt before you freak out on them.

Meanwhile, you also don’t want to be the person who “forgets to message back” until 3 days have passed, and then be surprised when they aren’t excited to hear from you. That can make you seem neglectful, uncaring, and flippant. If you’ve made the effort to match and agree to a conversation, you should keep up your end and actually respond.

Solution: Be respectful of each other’s time and lives outside of the app when messaging.

To sum it all up: If you’ve already done the hard work of creating an enticing profile, now is not the time to drop the ball with creepy, boring, or aggressive messages. If you present yourself in your best light, and use your matches profile as a blueprint for an engaging conversation and steer clear of the taboos listed above you’ll be frolicking through a field of daisies with the new love of your life in no time! Happy swiping!